I won an award!

It’s taken me almost 10 months to write this post, and I’m not sure why.

Nearly 6 years on, I still don’t know why I do what I do. Well, I do know why I do it, but I don’t know what made me start.

In the early stages of my rehabilitation, in the weeks staring out of the window from my hospital bed, looking at the moors, I knew this would all lead to a change in direction; I’d been given a second chance.

I accidentally fell into patient experience ‘work’. Whether you call us patient advocates, patient representatives, patient experts……..I am part of a niche group of people who share their experiences of being hospital patients, helping to educate and give first-hand accounts, leading to improvement and change. Through my blog, I have written about many of these experiences and insights, have spoken nationally and internationally, have been a part of many projects and so many other things…..

I am incredibly proud of volunteering within the very same team and unit that cared for me all those years ago. Being a part of the ICU rehab team fills me with joy and every shift is exciting and challenging. I get to support those who have been in a similar situation as I was. I get it…I get what it’s like to experience trauma, ICU, muscle weakness, grief, delirium, fear, terror, having to re-learn things……..the list goes on. I use my empathy to help our patients and their loved ones through what is an incredibly difficult time in their lives. I wish I’d had that when I was a patient.

However, I don’t do what I do for recognition or praise. I am incredibly humble about everything that I do ( some might say too humble! ). Yes, I share snippets on social media, write blog posts etc etc, but I never think of myself as special, because I’m not. I’m just another individual trying to do what I can to make the world a tiny bit better for others.

So Imagine my pure shock and surprise when I discovered I’d been nominated for an award! Every year, The Intensive Care Society hold an awards ceremony, recognising the outstanding efforts of individuals and teams across the UK. I was confused when I received an email about the nomination – who would’ve nominated me, and why? It’s not like what I do is anything special! So I gratefully accepted the invite to the online award ceremony, absolutely adamant that I wouldn’t win but feeling honoured nonetheless. The event was online, so I settled down in my PJs at the dining table, watching the livestream and waiting to see who got what. Then we came to the ‘Volunteer of the Year’ award category………..and my name was read out. You could’ve knocked me sideways, I could not believe it! I’d never won an award before, I wasn’t sure if I should be jumping around the living room with the dog or on the phone to the BBC! But instead, I quietly sat, smiling and feeling a little chuffed with myself, knowing that someone somewhere had been kind enough to nominate me. I couldn’t understand how I’d won it, what had I done to deserve an award? I was just me, I did what I did because it was something I loved doing……

A few days later, a large box arrived. It was my award! I thought my award was just a self-printed certificate, that I downloaded, printed (badly!) and pinned above my desk. But this was a proper award! Beautiful glass, in a beautiful box with a proper certificate! I admit, I was proud. After the obligatory selfies and photos sent to the family, I proudly put the award on a shelf

There it has sat ever since. A gentle reminder that I should be loud and proud of what I do. A reminder of why I do what I do, even when it feels like I’m not doing enough. And very soon, someone else will be the proud owner of the ‘Volunteer of the Year’ award for 2024. I hope they feel the sense of pride that I quietly do.