The 4hrs until the consultant visited felt like eternity. It was a sunny morning, the dawn of a new day and new year, and a beautiful ‘Crownhill Sunrise’. When the consultant arrived, he smiled but looked worried. When I explained how it felt, in between gagging, he said it sounded like my body was indeed... Continue Reading →
Beginning to Feel Human
I was a patient on Crownhill ward for 10 weeks. It became my second home. My Saturday nights consisted of writing my name on my bedpans for the week and chewing ice chips and spitting them out! So many milestones were reached along with lots of memories made, most of which are too small to... Continue Reading →
Walking To My Parents
Whilst lying on the bed for what seemed like forever, I became really aware of my surroundings. I was still attached to so many bags and drips, one of which was TPN. ‘Total Parenteral Nutrition’ was my food. Tailor made to my bodies needs every day, it went through my 'PICC' line straight into my bloodstream,... Continue Reading →
The Morning After the Night Before
After a horrible first night on Crownhill ward, I woke up and it was dark. I hadn't slept well and I was so disorientated. My obs were taken every 2/3hrs and I felt scared. Banging and beeping noises were coming from a building site outside and I was confused. I didn’t know where I was... Continue Reading →
My encounter with an Occupational Therapist….
Towards the end of my stay on ICU, I was visited by an Occupational Therapist. My memories of ICU are quite vague but I specifically remember the green trousers! She explained that when I moved to the ward, a therapist would speak to me to assess what help I needed. She went onto explain that... Continue Reading →
Delirium Diary 7 – Pencarrow Players
We carry on from my previous post ('Lie on the couch please'). We're still in the large agricultural shed/hall, still being restrained and unable to leave. I was now on a proper hospital bed. It had been pushed against a wall, along with lots of other empty beds. The hall was dark, infact quite victorian... Continue Reading →
Delirium Diary 5 – In a virtual world
It's important to remember that to me - my deliriums happened in quick succession, one after another, almost like a story playing out. Deliriums can sometimes be related to surroundings at that time? For example, later I'll tell you about being held hostage in a religious nursing home in Northern Ireland where a nun would... Continue Reading →
You’ll be home for Christmas…..We hope!
Christmas last year for me was weird. Every day when my consultant visited me or when I’d had a scan, I waited for the words ‘you’ll be home for Christmas’. Believe me, the team wanted me to be home but alas it wasn’t to be. It was a difficult time for me. My mental health began... Continue Reading →
Delirium Diary 4 – The Riots
I was now in an old fashioned dormitory. There must have been 20 beds, all with wardrobes. There were nurses walking around, a garden area outside with a bar and a coffee shop inside where patients and relatives could go. I distinctly remember telling my parents that when I was up and about, we would... Continue Reading →
Delirium Diary 2 – Party Time!!
It took 3 attempts to wake me from my coma. Apparently on the 3rd attempt, it was now or never.......... In my 'world', I was at a party. I could see brightly coloured balloons, people dancing - but it was silent. I was aware of people standing over me and I remember my husband shouting... Continue Reading →
Lets do this!
Welcome to 'From Delirium to Reality' Today is the 21st November 2019. 12 months ago my life changed and as dramatic as that sounds, it's true! I won't bore you with the details just yet, but the short version of my story is that what should've been a routine surgical procedure......went wrong! What should have... Continue Reading →