Delirium Diary 5 – In a virtual world

It’s important to remember that to me – my deliriums happened in quick succession, one after another, almost like a story playing out. Deliriums can sometimes be related to surroundings at that time? For example, later I’ll tell you about being held hostage in a religious nursing home in Northern Ireland where a nun would stare at me relentlessly, not allowing me to move and torturing me. BUT from speaking with my ICU rehab nurse, it’s a possibility that I was cared for by a young nurse on the unit who is in fact……Northern Irish……who wasn’t staring at me, but in fact monitoring me (and stopping me from pulling lines and tubes out!). 

So to continue: The riots were continuing outside, tower blocks ablaze and the hospital on lock down. I was taken to a theatre type room to have what i now think might have been a chest drain. I drank some liquid (whatever that was), given to my in a small sandcastle bucket and I was given the surgeons ipad to distract me. The surgeon told me his wife thought he was having an affair as every night he went home and she could see a load of random websites that i’d been looking at!?

I woke up. I was in a virtual world.


I was in a hotel in japan, in a computer game. I was on a bed that I wasn’t allowed to move from. My actual work colleagues at the time were with me, but they looked like virtual reality avatars! Everything was on a loop – someone would walk past or up the stairs and then 5 minutes later they’d walk the same route or appear somewhere else. A colleague told me that they were leaving and returning to work but that they’d see me soon. I kept asking why I couldn’t go with them but they kept saying ‘You can’t come with us’. I remember feeling quite distressed.  I asked when would I leave and they just said, ‘You’ll know when to leave’. They left and I laid on the bed, looking around me. I couldn’t move but I kept trying.  There was a man sitting at a reception desk but the world just kept on going: the same little figures walking past. I knew I had to try and escape. 

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